Garnell Whitfield Jr.’s mother, had she not been gunned down by a white supremacist a year ago, would be 87.

Whitfield, a man of unbending faith, sees a powerful harmony with the fact that the birthday of his mother, Ruth Whitfield, this year would have fallen on the Good Friday date of April 7, for Christians like him a day of death followed by rebirth.

Similarly, he sees that same harmony with the May 14 anniversary of the murder of his mother and nine other Black people at the Tops supermarket: That day is also Mother’s Day.

“The real story is (Christ’s) resurrection, and it’s my mother’s story,” Whitfield said in an interview this month at his Buffalo home. “That’s my mother’s story because my mother is bigger now than she ever would have been. My mother is bigger than life. My mother has influence and power in death that she never had.”

In the aftermath of Ruth Whitfield’s murder, her family has become outspoken advocates of policy and community changes, especially her son Garnell Whitfield Jr., Buffalo’s former fire commissioner. They are among the families of the 10 who were murdered who are now trying to bring a spotlight to the societal and racial underpinnings of the murder.

And then there is the grief to navigate on the anniversary of the killings.

Activism in the wake of tragedy

Ruth Whitfield

Whitfield himself has addressed Congress about proposed gun control measures. He has marched with the victims of other of mass killings. The Whitfield family organized an April conference at the University of Buffalo that attracted national social justice activists and focused on issues from gun violence to the oppressive presence of white supremacy. Ruth Whitfield’s photo was prominently displayed at the conference, and her name highlighted in the conference’s title, “Pursuit of Truth.”

“In the Jewish tradition, when someone passes we say, ‘May their memory be for a blessing,'” said Amy Spitalnick, an expert in online radicalization and a speaker at the conference. “The Whitfield family has certainly turned their grief into action and their mother’s memory into a blessing through their extraordinary activism and leadership. The conference last month is a model for the community conversations and partnerships we need in order to break the stranglehold of violent white supremacy and extremism.”

Wherever he is, Garnell Whitfield Jr. said, his mother is alongside.

“She’s always with me,” he said. “My mom is always with me, just as our Lord Savior is always with me. My mom poured herself into me. … I’m an extension of her.”

These families have a road map for those in Buffalo, Uvalde. They’ve been there.

‘The pain is real.’ Buffalonians push on through fire, ice and grief

Pushing through pain

Though in incessant pain from back ailments and other physical maladies, Ruth Whitfield weathered through, often providing an ear and a heart to others in need.

For a decade she visited her husband daily at a nearby nursing home where he resided. Her husband had suffered a traumatic brain injury, was unable to speak and sometimes did not recognize those around him. She did not miss a visit.

Ruth Whitfield, (left) and Garnell Whitfield Sr., (right).

This month at the Tops where his mother was killed, Garnell Whitfield Jr. met for the first time a supermarket manager who often confided in Ruth Whitfield about his personal struggles, and she always responded with an encouraging word that gave him a boost. The manager had a similar conversation in Tops only 20 minutes before Ruth Whitfield was murdered. In tears, he told Garnell Whitfield Jr. of the exchange.