How to Fake Your Way Through the Super Bowl

Hey, can I ask you something? Just between you and me?

Yeah, shoot.

I … don’t really understand this Super Bowl thing.

You don’t understand the Super Bowl? The ubiquitous event that dwarfs every other American entertainment option? The seasonal culmination of a sport woven deep within the rich tapestry of a mighty country?

Shhh! I don’t want everyone to know!

Maybe you’re not from the United States. Or were the kind of child who watched “Meet the Press” on Sunday. Or maybe you just prefer pickleball. We’ve got you covered. You’ve come to the right place to find out all about this year’s Super Bowl with no tears or embarrassment.

Great! When is the game, and who’s playing?

The Super Bowl is the final game of the season of the National Football League, the mammoth league with the $100 billion television contract and teams that are each worth $5 billion or more. This year, the San Francisco 49ers will face the Kansas City Chiefs in Las Vegas on Sunday starting just after 6:30 p.m. Eastern on CBS, although pregame coverage starts at 2 p.m.

Uh, Chiefs? That wouldn’t be a reference to …

Yes, Native Americans, and that makes some people pretty uncomfortable. The team in Washington changed its name in 2020 from a slur against Native Americans. First they were simply named the Football Team, and now they are the Commanders.

Give me some memorable Super Bowl moments.

There are so many to choose from. In Super Bowl III in 1969, Joe Namath predicted his New York Jets would beat the heavily favored Baltimore Colts, and then backed up his boast with a victory.